


Under The Snow

by GlitterQuake



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Philinda - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterQuake/pseuds/GlitterQuake
Summary: Phil Coulson and Melinda share a moment under the snow.





	Under The Snow

Phil Coulson liked the snow, the way it fell in soft patterns against the window pane. He liked the absent memories the snow brought back, the reminiscence of his childhood, it was almost like a form of pathetic fallacy, of peacefulness- bliss. When he stared out into the snow, he was brought back to his childhood, his young eight-year-old self-standing knee deep in snow, a Captain America shield strapped to his back- the shield that was in fact, simply a silver trashcan lid that had been scarcely painted to resemble his heroes shield. His family hadn't been financially well off, they hadn't been poor but he had never lived a life of luxury, but the snow, the snow was something he had always looked forward to, it was something that couldn't be taken away, something that they didn't have to afford. He remembered seeing his mothers delightful, contagious smile with her laugh as he used the 'Captain America shield' as a sledge of some sorts, his dad pushing him down a hill and the man then tumbling himself. He remembered that it had snowed on the day of his dads funeral, the snow had fallen in soft patterns, gently, as he had stood by his fathers grade, his mothers hand holding his tightly- he'd been 12 at the time and despite the fact that that had been many years ago, he remembered the experience so vividly.

The snow outside the new SHIELD hub was falling gently, much like the snow that had fallen on the day of his dads funeral. It was accumulating on the window ledge, the snow leaving soft, gentle patterns on the window pane- it was almost hypnotising, his eyes didn't leave the sight outside of the window as he did the cufflinks on his suit. The night was being blinded slowly with the whiteness, but the stars outside seemed to glisten bright enough for him to see their sapphire beauty. The trees and buildings that he had once been able to see within his sight were gone, encased and trapped by the snow, covering the land in a blanket of white.

The street looked like an unfinished painting and he somewhat saw himself outside within it, his hands encased in Melinda's. Melinda. Her eyes reminded him of the snow, deep pools of dark cinnamon swirls seized his attention instantaneously, consisting of so many swirling emotions. They offered warmth and comfort to him, warmth and comfort he'd seek out on a colds winter day, wrapped in a blanket, encased in warmth; her eyes offered that warmth, that comfort.

He loved her, of course he loved her, he loved everything about her, he lived for every breath she took. She was beautiful, inside and out, and he dreamt of the times they spent together with each other, dreaming them to be something more. She was intoxicating, a drug he couldn't rid himself off, her laugh and smile, they sent shivers down his spine and when her hand brushed against his...

Of course, that was Melinda May all over. She was brave, she held a ferocity that he loved and admired, she kept him smiling when he felt he couldn't. And when she was hurting, when she had bad dreams and thoughts of Bahrain, he wanted nothing more than to encase her in his arms, to hold her so tightly and closely, to take her pain away from her, to give her a few moments of peace.

He loved the stars, how brilliantly and brightly they shone against the night sky, how brilliant they looked with the snow falling down from the sky above, like a canvas, a canvas that held so much beauty in a simple painting- an unfinished one. The silver sequin stars, scattered like brilliant twinkling sapphires, illuminating the dark, black blanket of sky. He had no doubt that the air was chilled, but the thought of him down below, staring into the black sky with the stars twinkling above them, snow falling onto them, Melinda's hand in his, it warmed his heart, the blood racing through his body.

He hadn't told her of the incident with the LMD yet. How was he meant to bring the incident up; he had kissed someone who hadn't been her, who had resembled her in every way possible. He remembered his lips meeting her soft ones, their lips moving in sync, everything had seemed so perfect except it hadn't been perfect, because that hadn't been Melinda, that had been a fraud, a fake. The moment he had dreamt of for so long, the moment of lust, of passion that he had seen in his dreams so many times had become a nightmare, a false reality. He loved Melinda May, and she had loved him back as the LMD, but the LMD had been fake, how was he to know that the feelings she had fronted weren't fake, too?

There was a gentle knock on his bedroom door, and he finished fiddling with the cufflink of his suit, walking to the door of the of his room. His hand extended forward, clasping the door handle that seemed relatively cold, the shock of the cold sending goose bumps up his arm. He pried open the door, his breath hitching in his throat as he breathed out the simple word. 

"Melinda..." 

She was gorgeous, standing before him in a small, green dress that reached just before her knees. Her hair reached just before her shoulders, that remained naked, the dress being strapless- her hair in light curls that sat perfectly. Her lips, they were a marked with red lipstick, they were beautiful, and he imagined himself leaning closer and closer, his lips meeting hers, a sensual taste, intoxicating. But his feet remained firmly still unmoved, and instead, he found himself marvelling in her pure beauty, almost drunk by it. He wanted to feel her lips on his, her gentle ones against his rough ones, but he refused to give into the dark temptation loitering within the front of his mind.

If her eyes were the gateway to her soul, then her lips were the gateway to her body, their pure softness, full of burning passion and promise, but he knew his wouldn't meet hers, he wouldn't allow the temptation to take over.

"Phil, hey"

\-----

As a child, Melinda hadn't really liked the snow- it hadn't been the cold, she had been ice skating at the time, and she didn't mind the cold, the cold had been tolerable. She just hadn't understood the obsession with the snow, the intricate patterns of ice floating down onto the ground, slowly building up a pure blanket of whiteness, untouched perfection until the children came out to play. She remembered sitting alone with the house with her father, her mother absent during the time- undoubtedly on a variety of missions- sat curled up by the fire reading a novel that had entranced her, captured her attention with ease. She loved literature as a child, and she still loved it now, the way literature challenged and twisted reality, making her see things that had never truly, really been there. She loved being engrossed within a book, absorbed, entranced by words that were simply written in an order that always seemed so perfect. Every time she opened a book, she poured herself into the pages, never skimming a page, never being bored, the words causing a sense of breathlessness within her as the novel came to life before her very eyes.

There was always a sense of pleasantness, of happiness when she came across an old book, that was heavy and leather bound. A sense of excitement and contentment coursed through her, and the feeling of finding an old book almost resembled the feeling of being around Phil Coulson. Melinda, she had always been comforted by an old book, an old novel with a hundred stories, much like the man that was Phil Coulson; he always offered her some sort of warmth and comfort, an addiction she craved, someone she loved entirely. The pages of an old book often smelled warm, like Phil- a warm, honey smell that she craved to be near. Her and Phil, they were both aging now and they truly felt that more when they were around the likes of Daisy and the others, who seemed to be brimming with energy and excitement. Their time was no where near done, granted, but she found herself seeking an end- or rather a sense of happiness- to her story, and that came in the package of Phil Coulson, because she had never been happier than she was when she was him.

She had grown to love the snow that fell because of Phil Coulson. She remembered she had been sat in a her room at the academy, sat by the window with her legs tucked into her chest with, reading an older, battered version of 'Oliver Twist'. He'd ran in as soon as the snow had began to fall, knowing that she hadn't been partial to the likes of the snow, grasping her hand into his and prying her from the novel that had had her full attention and taking her out into the fields behind the academy. He had held her hand in his, and the two had stayed silent, staring into the bleak, black sky that shone brilliantly and brightly with the shimmering, sapphire stars. The delicately constructed, beautiful snow flakes had fallen from the sky, landing softly on the ground giving it a harsh coldness. She remembered she had been cold, but Phil had been there, and he had kept her heart pumping, beating rapidly, giving her a sense of warmth. Snow, falling in the middle of the night, as she stood with Phil Coulson in the middle of a deserted field, offered her a sense of clarity, a sense of peace.

She had loved the snow ever since.

There was something warming about Phil Coulson, how he opened his heart and soul for everyone, how he was always there for her- or anyone- when they most needed it. Her heart ached and longed for his, like a great novel, at times, everything was content and the characters within were allowed to function, and her heart was content and allowed her to move, and then at other times, there was a flurry of words hurriedly onto a page, tension, anger, frustration and longing, and her heart would burst, she would be still, her breath would hitch in her throat and she would feel nervous- Melinda May would feel nervous when being around him. Her long time friend, someone she'd fallen head over heels for, like someone from one of the novels she'd read.

She seen him as she died, and nothing but him because he was her world, the only world she wanted- he took her breath from her and he gave it back, she kept him moving, her heart beating.

Her breath hitched in her throat slightly as she lifted her hand to knock on his door, his room across from hers. Daisy had organized a Christmas themed party in a large hall just down the road from the new SHIELD base and, whilst she had wanted to head off, some sort of pull had pulled her towards Phil Coulson's door. Her knock was gentle and it was a few seconds later, the door swung gentle open.

"Melinda..." he almost gasped out, his eyes running over her quickly.

Her own eyes fell upon him- he was wearing a sharp, ridiculous suit, much like his previous black ones except this one was a vibrant red. But it suited him, he suited the suit. His eyes shone brightly, almost brimming with mischief, and there was a gentle, warm smile on his face. The same, warm scent of honey radiated from him, and she found herself wanting to get closer already, to lean up, to press her lips against his, for them to share some moment of passion. She wondered what his lips tasted like, she wondered what it would like for their foreheads to touch, for a moment of silence, of peace. 

"Phil" she paused "Hey"

\-------

"Hey.... You look uh- You look good" He scolded himself internally for his stupidity, because she didn't look good, she looked good; beautiful, gorgeous, absolutely stunning, she always did. He was like a butterfly to nectar, Melinda was the nectar, beautiful and attractive and everything about her drew him to her. She was simply, the most reliable, fierce, beautiful person he'd ever met, and he felt wholeheartedly better when he was around her "Beautiful" he corrected himself "You look beautiful"

She smiled, the brilliant intoxicating smile that seemed to steal his breath from him "You don't look too bad yourself" 

"I didn't think red was my colour, really" he looked down on himself with doubt, before his face lit up "Oh! In case the green and red weren't enough" he headed into his room, fumbling out in slight nervousness before rushing back out of the room cradling a set of fake reindeer antlers "I brought these" he smiled nervously "Here" 

"You're a dork" she shook her head, another warm smile embracing her face. She reached over, prying them from his hand, her hand brushing against his gently and for a moment, they both paused. It almost seemed too perfect, that their hands would meet like this, her hands seemed warm, soft, perfect for his own. And in an instant, their hands parted, the light flutter of warmth in his heart fading as the contact ceased "But" she pursed her lips "I can work with that"

She placed the reindeer antlers on her head, brushing back her crisp apple scented hair as she did so. A few stray strands fell down on her face, and before Melinda could do anything, Phil instinctively reached forward and brushed the few strands behind her ears. His hand remained there for a moment, their eyes locking, neither of them saying a word. He felt a sudden amount of nervousness within him, a sudden urge to step forward and hold her as he kissed her.

But he let go, letting his hand drop to the side with the reindeer antlers in his hands. He lamely smiled and whispered a hoarse "There you go"

"Thanks" her words seemed to arrive with shock "It's your turn"

"Oh- Right" he placed the antlers on his head, fiddling with them slightly, before allowing his hands to drop back to his side "Where is everybody?"

Melinda contemplated the question, looking at the corridor that were rather empty considering the fact that half the team- Daisy, Jemma and Fitz resided in the following rooms. Still, she assumed they were already at the party - unless they were early?

"They must be there already" Melinda spoke "Lets go"

The two began their descent to the outdoors in a comfortable and relaxed silence, Melinda leading the way.

\-----------------------------------------------

"Hey.... You look uh- You look good" Her heart thudded in her chest at the words he'd spoken "Beautiful" he corrected himself quickly "You look beautiful"

If Melinda hadn't been feeling nervous before, she was certainly feeling it now, though she hoped that she wasn't showing it. What happened to the Melinda May who could face down Hydra without a flinch? Phil Coulson had his way with words, with being him, that allowed her to feel nervous, to feel- to feel special, she loved and hated it at the same time.

She smiled and quickly spoke "You don't look too bad yourself" which was a lie, he looked gorgeous- and like a dork- in the stupidly adorable red suit.

"I didn't think red was my colour, really" he looked down on himself before exclaiming "Oh! In case the green and red weren't enough" he rushed into his room, leaving Melinda wondering what he was doing for a moment till he came fumbling back out of the room cradling a set of fake reindeer antlers "I brought these" he smiled nervously "Here"

He was a dork, but an adorable one.

"You're a dork" she shook her head, and she couldn't stop her growing smile. She reached over to pry them from his hands, capturing the prize quickly, only for her hand to meet his. She felt a sudden jolt of energy, a sudden ounce of happiness and excitement and her hand remained there longer than it should have done. His hand, it seemed so perfect and smooth and it would encase hers and she liked the thought of that, she liked the adrenaline that shot through her when she touched it. Relaxing that there had been silence for too long, and the contact too, she withdrew her hand quickly "But" she pursed her lips "I can work with that"

She placed the dorky reindeer antlers on her head, brushing back her waves of hair in the process and allowing them to sit firmly atop. A few stray pieces of hair that had managed to evade capture fell before her eyes, and before she could move to remove the pieces, Phil Coulson's hand was by her face. He moved the stands and she held her breath, his hands staying there longer than she had anticipated, their eyes locking in a heated second. She let out the breath she had been holding, longing to step forward and kiss him.

But his hand dropped, and they fell to his side.

"Thanks" her words were breathless "It's your turn"

"Oh- Right" he placed the antlers on his head, fiddling with them slightly, before allowing his hands to drop back to his side "Where is everybody?"

Melinda glanced down the corridor that was absent, except for the scarce few decorations that Daisy had put up - mainly tinsel. She presumed everyone was already at the party, after all, she'd left five minutes late- she hadn't been wanting to be the first one there.

"They must be there already" Melinda spoke "Lets go"

They walked in a relaxed silence, though Melinda felt a sense of giddiness as if she was drunk overcome her, and so she led the way, keeping a semi safe distance from Phil. 

\---------------------

The air was cold when they stepped out of the warmth that embraced them in the indoors. The chilly winds offered almost a harsh bite which Phil could feel through the jacket of his suit, and Melinda could feel on her bare arms- the hairs on her arms raised at the bite of the wind, goosebumps quickly appearing. The harsh coldness allowed for the snow to settle and for water to become ice and whilst neither admired the cold, but liked how it drew one and another towards each other for heat. The snow was still falling, gently, settling on the ground, their footprints leaving indentation marks which were hurriedly hidden by falling snow.

Phil stopped walking for a moment, his phone buzzing. Melinda stopped to stand beside him, standing close into his personal space, enjoying the blissful heat he was radiating. He pried out his phone, opening the message and squinting at the words, occasionally wiping the screen from the snow covered.

"It's Daisy" he let out a sigh, glancing to her "There's been a power cut, the party is off"

Melinda let out a stressed sigh as Phil placed his phone in his pocket. Daisy had been raving about the party for weeks, planning and organising everything with Hunter, who was possibly just eager to have an excuse to get drunk. It was often they got time off, and when they did, it came in small generous amounts- the world didn't stop working as they did, there had always been Hydra to stop or a villain thwart. She had been looking forward to having the night off, to being closer to Phil, and Phil had been looking forward to the same- not that either one admitted it to one and another. No, Phil was a coward, he'd found the perfect partner, someone he loved, cherished and someone who was his closest and best friend, and he hadn't wanted to spoil that- the LMD Melinda, he had been given hope from her, though she hadn't been real. Melinda, she didn't know what to say; she had become so accustomed to words from books, she was at a loss of words to speak, and she found herself, every time she wanted to tell him, coming up short.

Daisy would call them idiots, and they were inclined to agree.

"Damn it" Phil growled out, slamming his hand on the metal SHIELD door. He turned to her, a look of disappointment on his face "The power has gone down here too, it's locked everyone in and us out"

"The back up generator?" Melinda offered, eager to be in the warm- though she wouldn't deny that she was relishing in Phil's company.

"Must be frozen, Fitz will know how to fix it" he sighed "Till then, we're stuck out here" he looked at her, her arms folded around her body in an attempt at keeping herself warm "Do you want my jacket...?" He was willing to surrender it, surrender it for her.

"Then you'd be cold" Melinda stated, giving him a 'seriously' look "We'll be fine, it's a ten minute walk so I'm sure Fitz will be back soon. Or Daisy could quake the door"

"I'm sure Mack could just pull the door off" Phil offered, chuckling slightly at the thought "Here"

He opened his arms and pulled her in without sparing a thought, obeying his rapidly beating heart. His arms snaked around her back, his lips resting close to her forehead, warmth lightly touching her. In that moment, his heart pounded rapidly, screaming out for him to kiss her, to hold her tightly and to never let go; this was life, real life, him holding Melinda May, holding her close to him, his stomach flipping at the thought, his clear and coherent thoughts and focus now nothing more than a muddled mess.

Because he was holding her.

He was holding her so close, and so tight, the two sharing the warmth between them. He didn't want her to leave his embrace, not now, not ever, because he felt safe with Melinda, he felt calm, everything in the world- the building up snow, the power that was off- anything- it didn't matter, because for a moment he had her. He'd hugged people before, but there had never been a hug like this. As a boy, he'd loved hugs from his mother, he'd became even more appreciative of them after his fathers death, but holding Melinda, everything just felt so right. The world around him just seemed to melt away, the coldness around them seemed to disappear, and it just seemed to be the two of them, alone,

"Hey, Mel" his words were hushed, gentle, soft.

"Hey" she breathed out, her voice slightly shuddering.

"I like this. I like this a lot"

\----------

"I'm sure Mack could just pull the door off" Phil offered, chuckling slightly at the thought "Here"

Before she could spare any words, she was pulled into a warm embrace. His arms around her back, his lips resting ridiculously close to her forehead- she could feel the heat from them so close to her. She suddenly felt warm, the gap that had been between them before now closed, her body melting in his arms. She sunk into his warmth, she appreciated the gesture, the warmth, despite the flips her heart was doing, the fact that her breathing seemed to hitch a little everytime she took a breath.

His embrace was warm, like his personality, like him in general. Her thoughts, the thoughts that were there all hours of the day seemed to disappear, evaporate into nothingness, her single thought on him, and how ridiculously close those lips of his were to hers. The feeling of his body so close to her soothed her, warmed beyond comparison.

"Hey, Mel" he spoke, his voice warm, soft.

"Hey" she breathed out, the sudden embrace causing her words to come out with a shudder.

"I like this. I like this a lot"

She smiled at the words, not that he could see due to the fact that she was hidden in his chest. She liked it a lot too, she liked feeling close to him, she liked him surrendering hims warmth and sharing it with her; she loved their proximity, the warmth they shared.

"I like it a lot, too, Phil" she mumbled back, she parted from the hug slightly, bringing a little more distance between the two of them, so much so that she could look into his eyes and he could look into hers "I like you a lot"

"Yeah" he breathed out, white, wintery smoke coming from his mouth as he did so "I- Did you know, in ancient times, men used the stars as navigation" his voice was low, nervous, she could hear it "And, they saved a lot of lives. They guided people home. Well..." he trailed off, his eyes flicking to her lips suddenly, leaning down "I'd- I'd like to believe Melinda, that they led me to you"

His warm lips met hers, and the world around her fell away. It was soft, warm, comforting- one hand moved to rest on her waist, the other resting below her ear, his thumb gently caressing her cheek as their lips danced. She could feel the beating of his heart, rapid and full of energy, adrenaline, much like her own. The kiss was full of passion, fire, warmth and she could feel it all throughout her body- the kiss speaking louder than any words ever could.

He was holding her, and she was holding him, and their lips were connected, moving in sync, sharing a singular moment spread across an entirety of time. Every thought, every other emotion that wasn't relevant to the kiss was gone, and it was just herself and Phil Coulson, kissing in the snow- something that couldn't have seemed more perfect.

Melinda had kissed people before, of course she had, she had kissed Andrew when she had thought she was in love with him, but his kisses, they didn't feel like this, his kisses didn't made the world disappear around them like Phil's did, they didn't make every problem she had suddenly seem small; Phil Coulson's did. In the silence, the snow falling on them, their lips moving in motion in the cold outdoors, Melinda felt warm, she felt at peace, and she felt love.

\-------------

Phil hadn't really known what had provoked him- Well, he did in fact. Melinda May had been standing in front of him, admitting that she liked him, and he had said some useless dorky words that had led him to kissing the woman before him in a sudden spur of the moment, passionate inspiration.

One hand was currently resting below her ear, holding a cold cheek gently, cradling it softly as their lips moved in order to keep it warmed. Another hand rested on her waist, he didn't want the kiss to be suggestive, he wanted it to be perfect, and his hand felt perfect placed on her hips, as his lips were placed on hers.

As soon as their lips met, his mind and heart ignited, his heart thudding tremendously in his chest at the sudden spark of life coursing though him. He'd been tormented by this moment for a while now, longing for his lips to be on hers, only seeing this moment in his dreams until finally, this.

What was this? This was fire and passion and everything all at once that conveniently blocked every thought and fear out of his mind, his only, singular thought transfixed on the woman before him. She was someone who made him feel whole.

Her lips tasted sweet, and they were soft as he had imagined, her touch sent shivers down his spine and he dreamt of having so many more moments like this; them both holding each other, the silence around them, the blissful serenity. No one was dying, the world wasn't imploding suddenly, it was them both in the snow.

Just as they had met, their lips parted too soon, both of them breathing heavily which was evident by the white smoke radiating from their breathes, tainted by the cold to reveal all. She had snowflakes in her hair, they seemed to form a pattern, a crown of sorts, because she was an angel, the capturer of his heart.

Their foreheads met each other's, both of them leaning on each other for support, staring into the correspondents eyes. Her eyes danced with wildfire, sparkling with life, he was so sure his looked the same. They were both smiling, hers looked perfect though, the red lipstick that had been resting on her lips now gone slightly, undoubtedly on his own lips.

"You..." he took a moment to breath "You're not an LMD, are you?" He chuckled at his own question.

Melinda bore a grin on her own face before speaking "You kissed the LMD?"

"Just checking" he didn't answer her question, knowing that the woman before him was real "That was too perfect"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this! Can't believe I managed to write 5000 of pure Philinda! Hope you all enjoyed :)


End file.
